i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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