You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
