Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
