party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can't turn off my feet"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
