yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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