he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
