he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
