I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Four minutes until I can fart!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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