there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
