I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
