What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
