thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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