Four minutes until I can fart!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you made out with another girl for some wings
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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