I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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