there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
