dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Two words: blizzard sex
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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