Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
