this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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