ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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