Are we in a gay sports bar?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
