I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
