whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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