When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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