my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
