Ambien. No doubt about it.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
