i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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