Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
