i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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