Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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