i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
