i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
