A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
