well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
FUCK WHALES
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
