There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
