So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
