and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
