I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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