I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
