with your own penis?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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