You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
