how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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