saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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