East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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