I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
