hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
