if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
