i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
