she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
