what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
