so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
