Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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